My Poetry became my Journal.

Who, what, why and where I became poetry-aware.

It’s crazy how you can go from despising something to adoring it!

In my first few years of university, I would always kick up a fuss when we had to pick between short stories and poetry. I hated writing poetry. Despised it. Absolutely loathed it. I didn’t mind reading it but writing it was a whole different, apparently horrendous act of creative writing my lecture would tell me to try.

Two years later and @aymoonsmuse main mission on social media is to spread the necessities, advantages and therapeutic effects of poetry for people who simply can’t journal!

But before I go on, let me properly introduce myself…

Hi :) my name’s Ayman, I’m 21 and I have just recently finished my English Literature with Creative Writing degree (I graduate in about two weeks!). Here are some things you should know about me:

• I’m a sports enthusiast. My favourite sports would have to be football, badminton, dodgeball and rock climbing/ bouldering. Of course, I’m a gym rat as well ;)

• I love going on random excursions- I’m talking getting lost in my own city, exploring hidden gems, book shop crawls, coffee shop crawls. That typpa vibe.

• I love books and coffee. I’m a midweight coffee drinker, not a MAHOOSIVE reader but I do love a good book. Currently, obsessed with Greek Mythology whilst reading The Silence of the Girls by Pat Barker.

• I’m very extroverted, love a good waffle session, love being social in general.

• Finally, of course, I love writing. Specifically, poetry, short stories, random character scenes and speeches.

And that, in a very quick nutshell, is a summary of me. Now for the real reason you came here.

[Me at the Poetry Pharmacy in London]

Why and where I became poetry-aware:

It’s a common fact that sometimes, life throws the worst at you so you can root through the bad and get stronger and at 19 years old, I really began to learn the meaning of this. Now I’ve got to say that this isn’t THE MAIN reason why I started writing poetry, but definitely one of the significant contributors. In 2023, one of my really good friends sadly passed away. It was definitely one of the biggest, most peculiar feelings I have ever anticipated, full of sadness, confusion and honestly just heartbreak.

And I know what you’re thinking: what relevance does this have to anything about poetry? Well, after months of trying to journal my thoughts, feelings and work through my grief, I found how much of a chore it was. It didn’t help me the way that I thought it would, the way that all of the social media influences said it would. Journaling for me was a failure, so I knew I had to channel my overthinking thoughts somewhere else.

Then one day, I randomly opened up my Notes app and without thought, typed away, letting what felt right in the moment type itself onto my screen. The mini paragraph that was formed rhymed in some places and had a beat, had some long lines and some incomplete.

A poem was formed. Did I plan for it to be a poem? Not at all, I hated poetry remember? But that’s what it was- a rhyming, flowy piece of poetry.

From that moment on, I haven’t put my pen down and emerging from the ink, from the clicks of my keyboard, is always a poem of some kind. This is one of the first pieces of poetry I wrote after my friend passed away, kind of rusty but raw and in the moment:

I used to pray for myself,
when you were here.
Because I assumed that whatever I was praying about,
you would be too, and we all know
that He heard both conversations 
at the exact same time anyway.

Now, it's more about us.
Because I don't know how 
you're doing up there.
And it's sort of scary without you now.
But I'm not that scared
because you're with Him,
and He's floating around me too.

So yeah. That’s about it. My poetry became my journal, my untidy thoughts became organised, my overthinking became somewhat under-control and my creativity grew like a tomato plant in the sun.

A couple of months later, I decided to start sharing my poetry on Instagram. On my first account, growth was amazing but it unfortunately got hacked so I started again. Then

aymoonsmuse

came along- that is, Ayman, moon (for my love of the moon) and muse (because I finally found my muse, my reason) and spread her passion for poetry amongst a large crowd of lovely people. Now, I turn to poetry whenever I’m feeling some difficult sort of emotion whether I intend to share it or not.

Grief is one of those emotions that is incredibly complex for everyone but through creative expression and my poetry, I’ve been able to find why it’s such a challenge for me. As in, what keeps my grief strong, what makes it tick. Which leads me onto my final note for today:

Creativity can cure! No matter what form, what expression or even how. Creativity is something we need to be taking seriously to better understand ourselves and to better help in tough times.

I hope to use this space, my Instagram and a very useful side hustle that’s in the works to really show you guys how you can do this too and how easy it is!

But for now I leave you with a question: what’s your why? What’s the reason you create your art? Answer however you want, with whatever piece of art you create.

---